


Starting Over Series

by silvertoekee



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-05
Updated: 2003-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-04 22:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/398655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertoekee/pseuds/silvertoekee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's about starting over and trying to feel once again. Opening ones heart is never easy and it takes time and patience to truly succeed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starting Over Series

**Author's Note:**

> A short drabbles series about the relationship between Yue, Touya, and Yukito. Look out there maybe grammar errors as I still need to revise the story.

Gesture of Friendship

The rain fell heavily that night and lighting streaked across the dark sky. Every now and again the lighting would illuminate the entire city and you could just make out buildings. On a rooftop nearby a lone figure stood and let the rain soak him to the bone. His clothes were plastered to his body outlining its wiry frame and his wings drooped down his back. Raking a pale slender hand through his white bangs you could just make out emotion filled silver eyes shot through with amethyst. Raising his head to the sky the young man closed his eyes and let the rain beat down on his face. Raindrops sparkled near his eyes but it was so hard to tell if it was truly the rain or his own tears. The rain felt cold when it hit his face and he shivered. Spreading his wings he flapped them once and took off into the night. 

Flying through the night was exhilarating with the lightening streaking across the sky and the occasional boom of thunder. Looking down he noticed that he was headed were he always went when he was so troubled. Circling one of the dark houses once he flew towards the tree and landed on one of the branches. Grasping one of the branches he folded his wings and leaned against the rough bark. The house was silent and he was glad because he didn’t want anyone to know that he was here. The objects of his confusion were in that house and he was wondering how to deal with it. They caused him to feel unwanted emotions that he had thought had died along time ago. It was unsettling to start having emotions again when he had grown use to not having any. He wondered if it had started when he had first woken up from his sleep and had to judge the new master. Or maybe it had occurred when that girl’s brother had offered him his powers in order to live? Perhaps it had even occurred when his other half became aware of him and started trying to get him more involved with the others? It was just so confusing and sometimes it was just too much to handle. Threading his fingers through his hair he let out a slight moan at all the confusing things that were running through his head. 

“Yue?”

Opening eyes at the quiet voice he didn’t even know he closed he saw a dark haired boy leaning outside the window. The boy’s face looked concerned and the warm brown eyes were so caring.

“You could get sick flying out in this type of weather Yue.”

Yue was surprised that the boy didn’t ask him why he was outside his house or much less his window. All he heard was concern for his well fare and nothing more. It was confusing to him since the only time the boy spoke to him that way was when he was his false form.

“No reason Touya, I just needed time to think about some things.”

He watched as Touya looked at him suspiciously for a moment before accepting his answer. Yue was relieved that he didn’t pry since he was unsure if he wanted to tell the other boy his problems yet. He wasn’t sure if he totally trusted Touya like his false form did and was still slightly wary. Shaking his wings Yue was prepared to fly away but then he shivered.

Touya’s eyes narrowed. “Well you should come inside and dry off before you get sick.”

Yue was startled that Touya said this since he could not get sick. He was about to say no when he noticed that the other boy’s face. Sighing he nodded in agreement and waited until Touya was out of the way before entering the window. His hair was plastered to his skull and the rest lay in a ragged mess on the floor. Yue kept his eyes lowered and watched as a puddle slowly formed on the floor beneath him. He was startled when a towel landed on his head and grabbing it he looked over at Touya. The other boy was rummaging through his drawers and came out with a pair of clothes.

“You should dry off with the towel and change clothes so you don’t get sick.”

Yue nodded his head and gazed at the floor again. He was unsure of how to handle Touya’s kindness and wished that he knew how to respond to it. 

“I’ll go downstairs and make you some tea to warm you up. And I know you don’t need to drink it but humor me ok? Oh and just leave your clothes on the floor I’ll be back to put them in the dryer.”

Keeping his eyes lowered he waited until the other boy left before he began to take off his clothes. Quickly drying his body he changed into the other clothes and left his on the floor. He could have dried the clothes and himself with a spell but for some reason he didn’t. Unraveling his hair he quickly shook it out and tried to towel dry it and his wings. He heard the door open and stopped to look up at Touya. The other boy carried a tray, which had tea and what looked like crackers. Setting it down on the nightstand Touya opened a drawer and grabbed a brush. 

“Come and sit on the bed Yue and while you drink the tea I will brush your hair ok?”

Yue was startled again by this kind gesture and was unsure what to do. He didn’t know if he really wanted Touya to brush his hair or even have any physical contact with him. The only person who had ever touched his hair had been his last master and that brought back painful memories. 

Touya looked into Yue’s eyes and noticed the pain that was reflected there. He was unsure why the winged angel was even here. He had been sound a sleep when a slight noise outside his window had awakened him. Opening his window he was slightly shocked to see Yue sitting in his tree with such a sad expression on his face. Usually when he saw him the moon guardian always had a cold expression and never showed any emotions what so ever. It was kind of strange to see any emotions on his face and he had decided to help him. 

“Yue I promise I will not hurt you ok? I just want to get you warm and dry because I am your friend.”

Yue blinked in surprise when he heard Touya call him a friend. It was the first time that besides Sakura that anyone wanted to be friends with him. He felt warmth flood his being and for the first time in a while he smiled. 

Touya was startled by Yue’s smile since he had never seen him ever do it on the few occasions they had met. It was innocent and a friendly smile. He decided he liked that smile since in some ways it reminded him of Yukito, Yue’s other half. 

“Alright Touya. And thank you.”

Touya blinked in surprise and watched as Yue walked towards him and sat down on the bed. 

“For what Yue?”

Grasping one of the cups Yue filled it with tea before looking over his shoulder at the other boy. Confused brown eyes met warm silver ones. For the first time that night Yue felt truly at peace and decided that maybe just maybe getting back his emotions weren’t so bad.

“For being my friend.”

Touya smiled slightly at the reply before he began to brush the long white hair. Somehow he knew that someday Yue would mean something more to him but right now he was glad that he had accepted his friendship.

**

Questions and Remembrance

Yue gazed up at the moon that shone brilliantly overhead and let out a contented sigh. It was a beautiful night with the full moon dominating the sky and millions of stars sparkling overhead. He felt so rejuvenated from the moon and seemed to glow. Stretching he half spread his wings and laid down on his back.

“Yue?”

Yue turned his head and noticed that a large lion with wings had landed on the roof. He was surprised to see Keroberus the sun guardian awake at this time of night. Sitting up he regarded the lion quietly and waited for him to speak. Yue was surprised when Kero walked over to him and laid down and placed his furry head in his lap.

“What?”

Glancing up Kero smiled at Yue and laid his head back down again. He knew that the moon guardian was surprised that he had done this and purred contently. At one time Kero had done this often but that had been a long time ago when Clow Reed had been alive.

“Why did you come here Keroberus?”

Yue felt a strange emotion fill his heart when he glanced down at Keroberus. The two had at one time been close but when Clow had died that had soon changed everything. Yue had been devastated to loose the person he loved and who had created him. Magic had swirled around the two guardians and then they had been sealed into the book for many centuries. During this time period Yue had been steadily destroying and sealing all the emotions he had inside. It had hurt too much to feel for another living being when that being could either die or be taken away at any moment. When he had finally achieved his goal he had sealed himself into his false form until the new master’s judgment. 

“Yue?”  
Yue blinked in surprise and gazed down into concerned golden eyes. 

“I am alright Keroberus. Just thinking about the past is all. You never did tell me why you came here tonight.”

“I came because I wanted to see my brother again, Yue. We haven’t really spent that much time together unless helping Sakura learn how to use her magic.”

Kero sat up and regarded his brother thoughtfully. He had come here tonight to see him but also to ask him an important question. 

“Yue in the time we were in the book did you seal your emotions away?”

Kero watched surprise then confusion fill the silver eyes before Yue glanced away. When the moon guardian had judged Sakura he had noticed a slight change in him. Yue appeared so cold and lifeless like a doll. Oh he had tested Sakura the way Clow had instructed him but with no emotion. The only time that Kero had seen any emotion was when Kaho had mentioned the bell Clow had left and when he had been defeated. Yue at one time had been a happy and contented guardian. Of course he was sometimes too serious but he had been a gentle soul. He wondered if Yue would answer his question and if so what to do about it.

Yue could feel Kero watching him but he didn’t know what to say. He wondered if he should confess to his brother and tell him why he did it. Maybe if he told him then perhaps he could help him regain what he had lost.

“Yes Keroberus I did seal away my emotions.”

“But why?”

Yue looked over at Kero and saw that he appeared sad.

“Why would you do such a thing Yue?”

“Because it hurt so much to feel Kero!”

Kero blinked in shock when Yue shortened his name. The other guardian hadn’t called him that since Clow had been alive and he smiled.

“Because Clow died?”

Yue nodded slowly and would not meet Keri’s gaze. He wondered if his brother was angry at him for doing this or maybe even hate him for it. Yue was so confused and feeling all theses old and new emotions again made it hard to think.

“Yue look at me.”

Yue shook his head and Kero let out a half sigh. Using one of his wings he turned Yue to face him and waited for the silver eyes to meet his own. Kero saw so much confusion and doubt reflected there.

“Yue it was understandable why you did that. Heck even I thought about doing it myself.”

“You did?”

Yue gazed at Kero and watched as he nodded his head.

“Yes. It hurts to loose someone you love especially like that, but I am glad that I didn’t do it.”

“Why?”

“Because then I wouldn’t be able to love Sakura or even you and Clow.”

Yue gazed into warm golden eyes and saw that there was indeed love reflected there. Bowing his head he felt ashamed and bitter with himself for sealing away his emotions. Lifting his head he gazed back at Kero with determination and a firm resolve.

“Will you help me feel again Kero? I want to remember how to love my family and my friends again.”

Smiling hugely Kero nodded and laid his head back down on Yue’s lap. 

“Thanks Kero.”

“You are welcome Yue.”

Yue hesitantly settled a hand on Kero’s head and began to stroke his head. He felt Kero began to purr and smiled. It was going to be hard to try and regain all the emotions he had sealed away but with a little time he would do it. Titling his head back he gazed up at the moon and made a silent vow that he would succeed. 

**  
Reaching Out is Hard

Yue hovered half way off the ground and waited for his opponent to attack. So far he had been winning and was disappointed by this fact. He needed something to focus on theses days besides his confusing emotions and this was the best thing to do. Spreading his wings he formed blue diamonds in his right hand and threw them. 

“Ow hey watch it Yue, you almost burnt my fur!”

Yue smirked as he watched his brother checking his body over for any burns. Kero was so over dramatic over little things and seemed to get a kick out of it. When the wing lion looked up at him again he saw an evil smile appear before he opened his mouth and shot out flames. Dodging easily to the right Yue felt the intense flames pass harmless overhead and dissipate.

“Nice try Kero but I think that you’re getting soft. Must be all that pudding and video games!”

“What! Why you little…”

Kero mouth dropped open in surprise when he saw Yue bend over and start laughing. It was the first time in a while that he had heard the moon guardian laugh and it made him smile in return. He knew that Yue was slowly adjusting to trying to feel again and was slowly making steady progress. Hopefully someday Yue would at least regain what he lost and be able to properly feel again. 

“Hey Kero are you going to daydream all day or are we going to practice?”

Kero glared at Yue for that comment and decided to figure out away to get him back for the pudding remark.

“So moon brain how is your relationship going with Touya?”

Yue froze in place and blinked in shock when the sun guardian suddenly tackled him in the air. Kero latched onto Yue’s body with his front paws and encased him in his golden wings. The moon guardian struggled for a moment trying to free himself but Kero kept his grip. Letting out a sigh of defeat he looked down into Kero’s mischievous eyes.

“That was a pretty low blow even for you, Kero.”

“Yep it sure was but it won me the battle right? But seriously how is your relationship going?”

Yue felt warm and safe in Kero’s embrace, it was nice to know how much the other guardian cared for him. Gazing up at there golden feathered cocoon, he tried to figure out how the best way to answer that question. Ever since that stormy night that he had been seen by Touya the two of them had been slowly forming a tentative friendship. He felt guilty because Touya was the one who was doing most of the work to keep it going. Yue was unsure how to deal with this and would try his hardest to avoid the other boy. But for some strange reason Touya would keep trying to see Yue and learn more about him.

“It’s going well so far Kero but I am unsure how to really be a friend. I mean he tries so hard and yet I cannot seem too.”

Looking back down again at the lion he noticed that Kero was looking at him with a serious expression.

“Are you scared to have such a relationship Yue?”

Yue closed his eyes and seriously thought about the question. Part of him still wanted his emotions to still be sealed away because it was so much easier to not have to feel at all. But the other half wanted to experience emotions to the fullest and one of the ways was to except Touya as a friend.

“No Kero that’s not it. It’s just so hard for me to open up to him and not feel like some crippled emotional freak.”

“No you’re not Yue. Try and be fair to yourself ok? I mean you just recently broke the seal on your emotions and it takes time to try and figure them out. Besides I am sure that Touya will realize that as well.”

He slowly nodded in agreement and rested his forehead on Kero’s. Looking into the golden eyes he saw love and compassion. It was reassuring to know that his brother cared for him and that he was family. Yue closed his eyes and felt Kero tighten his paws around him. It had taken a lot for him to seriously confess that and it was emotionally exhausting. 

“Come on Yue lets go home.”

Opening his eyes he nodded in agreement but grabbed on of Kero’s paws. 

Kero looked at him in puzzlement and waited for Yue to say something. He wondered what was up and why the other guardian seemed so hesitant.

“What is it Yue?”

“Kero um may I call you brother again?”

Kero blinked in astonishment before he began to laugh happily. Throwing his paws around Yue again he gave him a hug and licked him on the face. He started laughing again when Yue’s face scrunched up in startlement. Yue’s hugged Kero back and smiled tentatively at him.

“I take that as a yes?”

“But of course little brother, we are family after all so we can call each other whatever we want.”

“Good. Now I have another question.”

Kero groaned good-naturedly and waited for Yue to continue.

“Is Touya home tonight?”

“Yes and so is Sakura are you going to see him?”

He watched as a faint blushed stained Yue’s cheeks. Unwrapping his paws from Yue he flew a few feet away and waited for him to compose himself.

“Lets go home Yue.”

The moon guardian nodded in agreement and was silent all the way back to the Kinomoto’s.

*

Touya sat watching TV with his little sister when they both heard someone knocking on the door.

“I’ll get it brother.”

He watched as Sakura jumped up and ran to answer the door. He could faintly hear voices and then running feet headed upstairs. Shrugging his shoulders he figured it was either Kero or probably her friend Tomoyo. Glancing back at the TV for a while he felt someone watching him. Looking back towards the living room door he noticed Yue standing there and he was watching him oddly. Yue’s eyes seemed warmer then their usual cold look and his body was tense. 

“Hello Yue.”

He watched the moon guardian nod a greeting and let out a half sigh. For the past few weeks he had thought that he was finally making progress with the other being. Touya truly wanted to be friends with Yue but how do you do that when the other made no effort towards the same thing? 

“I am going to get some tea, I’ll be right back okay?”

He needed to get away from Yue for a moment and compose himself again. Standing up he turned his back to Yue and was about to leave the room when he felt warm arms slip around his waist. A warm body pressed against his back and a head rested between his shoulder blades.

“I am sorry if I have hurt you lately Touya. I really do appreciate that you are trying to be my friend and I will try harder to prove I am your friend too.”

Looking down at the pale white hands that rested on his stomach he reached down and gripped them lightly.

“You don’t have to prove it to me Yue, all I need for you to do is try ok? I really do want to be your friend.”

He felt the moon guardian sigh and hug him closer.

“Reaching out to others is so hard Touya.”

“Yes it is Yue but that’s what makes it worth it right.”

Touya felt Yue nodded in reply and let out a contented sigh. It gave him a sense of hope and for the first time in weeks he felt so relieved. He was glad that Yue was going to try really hard to work on there friendship with him. Touya somehow knew that someday he would be best friends with Yue just like he was with his other half Yukito. 

***

Trying Again

Yukito hummed a merry tune as he strolled down the street towards the Kinomoto house. It was a lovely evening with the moon just shining overhead and the Sakura trees were in bloom. Touya had invited him over to dinner tonight and this made him extremely happy. He sometimes felt lonely in his home since he grandparents didn’t really exist and it was nice to be around a real family. The Kinomoto’s always made him feel like a part of their family, which made him remember fondly about another family long ago.

(Yukito? Hey Yukito!)

Yukito blinked and start in surprise when he heard Yue calling him. In fact from the frustration in Yue’s voice he had a guilty feeling that he had been trying to get his attention for sometime. The moon guardian was usually quiet and would only talk to him when he had something to say. At first he had been shocked to find out that he was actually a false form and that there was actually another being inside of him. It was weird to find out that all your memories were all lies and that the only ones real were Yue’s. The moon guardian had explained that Yukito had been created in order for Yue to be able to travel more freely and protect Sakura. The funny thing about it was some how the two had split into separate personalities and not even Yue could explain why. At first it had hurt to know that he wasn’t real but then Touya and even Yue had reassured him that just because he was a false form didn’t mean that he did not exist with his own thoughts and feelings. It had reassured him to hear this from them and he was so glad that they cared enough to tell him this.

(Yukito!)

(Sorry Yue I was just thinking about something’s. Umm what’s up?)

Yue sighed in frustration and tried to keep his voice neutral. Yukito had a bad habit of daydreaming during a conversation, which could be a real pain. Sometimes he wondered why he even tried to communicate with the snow bunny, but then again it was his other half.

(I kind of have a question to ask you.)

Yukito blinked in surprise at the seriousness he heard in Yue’s voice and wondered what it was about. He waited for him to continue and was surprised when he didn’t.

(What is it about Yue?)

Yue wondered how to phrase the question without it embarrassing either of them. For the past few weeks he had started to notice that Yukito’s feelings as well as his own had started to change towards Touya. It was gradually changing from friendship into perhaps maybe an attraction? He was confused by this new set of emotions and was unsure what to do. It was so much easier not to have any emotions and now it was hard to have to try and learn about them again.

The worse part about this new situation was Yue couldn’t figure out if it was because Touya had sacrificed so much for them to remain alive or was it the boy himself. Hopefully the snow bunny would know what to do otherwise there was Kero, who he really didn’t want to ask about this one. Kero would either tease him to death or laugh his head off.

(What do you think about Touya?)

Yukito blinked in startlement and almost laughed out loud. He had been having the same exact thoughts for a while now and it was strange that Yue was as well. He wondered if Touya was right when he said that he and Yue were very much a like.

(I think of him as a friend Yue and maybe something more. What about you?)

Yue smiled slightly at Yukito’s response and wondered if they were similar like Touya said.

(I feel the same way. But what do we do about it?)

The two of them sighed softly and were unsure of what to do. On the one hand if they told Touya how they felt would he either freak out or hate them. Or maybe he would just tell them all he felt was friendship and nothing more. Either way the outcome was looking slightly grim to both of them.

(I think I should tell him Yukito after dinner. Because I brought it up and I need to tell him.)

(Ok Yue.)

Yukito was still unsure if they should tell him but then agin he would rather it be Yue then himself. Yue was more self-assured then Yukito and could handle difficult situations better then him sometimes. He was also fearful what was going to happen but then again it was better to be honest and get it over with. Oh well at least with this encounter then maybe Yue would come out more and try to interact with the others he hoped.

*

Touya drank his tea slowly and watched as Sakura, Kero, and Yukito chatted happily. The three of them were talking about the letter Sakura had received from that Li boy in Hong Kong and how he was doing. Touya still couldn’t stand the little brat since the first time he had tried to take the then Clow Cards from his sister. Maybe someday the two of them would get along but looking at his little sister he wondered if maybe not.

Watching Yukito for a while he began to wonder what was wrong with his best friend. Ever since he had come over to dinner Yukito had been distracted and had barely said a word to him. The whole time at dinner the snow bunny would smile at him on occasion but then look away quickly. Touya couldn’t figure out why his friend was acting so shy and just plain weird. Hopefully his sister would go to bed soon in order for him to find out what was up.

*

Looking at her brother and Yukito, Sakura wondered what was up with those two. For the last few hours they both appeared distracted and it was starting to get annoying. It was obvious even to Kero that the two wanted to ask each other something but was afraid to do it while she was there. Sakura and Kero looked at each other before sharing twin smiles. Letting out a fake yawn Sakura stretched and silently laughed as the two of them looked at her.

“I think I’ll head to bed now.”

Walking over to her brother she gave him a hug and then Yukito.

Kero grinned and quickly flew over to Yukito.

“Good luck you two.”

Kero almost laughed a loud at the shocked expression on Yukito’s face but decided to leave it alone until later.

Saying goodnight Kero and Sakura quickly went up the stairs and into her room. The two hoped they would resolve whatever was bugging them or else they would.

*

The two watched them flee out of the room before looking at each other. Yukito glanced down first and didn’t see the frown that appeared on Touya’s face. It was time to ask the big question and he was unsure what to do.

(Ask him to go out to the garden.)

Yukito almost jumped in surprise because he had forgotten that Yue was awake and could hear and see everything.

(And remember I am the one asking the question not you.)

Yukito nodded slowly in agreement and hoped for the best. Standing up he smiled nervously down at Touya and offered his hand.

“Can we go out to the garden Touya? I heard Sakura mention that it was beautiful at night.”

Yue let out irritated sigh as he watched Touya look at them in confusion before nodding in agreement. He wanted to mentally slap Yukito for that dumb statement but then again it was a good idea.

The two of them walked out of the house and into the backyard. Looking out into the garden the moon shone down and lit up the yard with a soft glow. The flowers and trees was illuminated and you could see the night dew glisten on everything.

“Yukito why have you been acting weird all evening? I mean you have been nervous and quiet to me ever since dinner and I want to know what’s wrong.”

Touya watched the other boy flush bright red before turning pale white. It was so damn confusing when he didn’t know what was wrong with the other boy and he just wanted to know what was wrong.  
“Alright Touya.”

He blinked in suprise when Yukito walked a little away from him and turned to face him again. For the first time that night Yukito was smiling at him warmly and was not looking away. Touya watched in confusion as a Clow’s circle formed under the other boy’s feet and huge wings enveloped him. He wondered why Yukito was transforming into his other half and was more confused then ever.

Yue took a big breath and opened his white wings. He noticed that Touya was looking at him in confusion and felt a flash of doubt. Was it a good idea to reveal his new feelings for the other boy yet?  
(Yep it sure is Yue. We will never know unless we try right?)

Nodding his head in agreement he walked towards the other boy and stopped in front of him. Gazing into confused dark brown eyes, he knew that he had to go through with it.

“Touya……I….I mean…we…I mean…..”

Yue shook he head in irritation and just couldn’t say it. He saw that Touya was looking at him still but there was still confusion. Argh it was so hard to say it.  
(Come on Yue you can do this. If you are trying to relearn emotions, family, and friendship, then this should be a piece of cake. )

Muttering under his breath about annoying snow bunnies, he firmed his resolve and decided to say it.

“Touya, Yukito and I like you very much. More then just a friend. We have felt this way for a while now and just wanted you to know it.”

Touya blinked in shock and was downright surprised. This was not what he had been expecting at all. He had thought it had to do something that had happened at school or something else, not this. He gazed down into silver eyes and saw the fear. Somehow Touya knew that it had been awful hard for the two of them to confess this and that they were waiting for him to reject them. This was a very sticky situation and if he wasn’t careful he could end up hurting them.

Touya was unsure if he felt that way for the two of them since he had not really thought about them that way. Of course he had been worried when Yukito had started to disappear when Sakura had started to change the Clow Cards into Sakura Cards. And it had been so natural to give his powers in order for his best friend to live because he cared about him deeply. But were these feelings different from a friend or maybe something more? This was just plain confusing and not easy to figure out.

Yue watched the different emotions that appeared across Touya’s face and wondered what the other was thinking. It was obvious that he had been shocked and now appeared very unsure what to do. Yue ached to help his friend but knew that what he had done had been the right thing to do. Now all he and Yukito could do was wait and see what the other boy did.

Coming to a firm decision Touya decided to be honest with them and hope for the best.

“I don’t know if I feel that way for you two. I mean I never really thought of you that way before.”

He watched Yue’s silver eyes fill with pain and then he slowly lowered his head. Reaching forward Touya tilted the moon guardian head up and watched the silver eyes widened in surprise. Touya smiled in reassurance at him before speaking again.

“But Yue I think that if there was anyone that I could like more then it would be you two. I don’t know if anything will develop out of this or even if my feelings will change but I would like to give it a try. But I want you two to know that no matter happens we will always be friends.”

Yue blinked in shock and felt such a profound relief feel him. All the stress and emotions that he and Yukito had felt left them in a rush. Touya was actually going to give them a chance and that was all they wanted. And even better if it didn’t work out then they would still be friends. Trying again with emotions really was hard and especially trying to like someone again was worse. He felt warm tears fill his eyes and the first time in centuries Yue began to cry.

Touya watched silver eyes widened in surprise before warm tears spilled down pale cheeks. He had never seen Yue cry before and he felt a small ache in his heart at this. Using his other hand he wiped some of the tears away from the silver eyes and smiled down at the moon guardian warmly. Leaning forward Touya gently kissed Yue on the lips and then pulled the moon guardian into a hug. He felt Yue’s arms wrap around his waist and hug him back. For some reason that Touya couldn’t explain he had a feeling that he could actually like him more then just a friend and that in time it might develop into something more. Resting his cheek on the white head he murmured soothing words and let the moon guardian cry.

*

Upstairs in the bedroom Sakura and Kero watched the emotional exchange and grinned at each other in the dark. It was about time those two revealed what they felt for each other and start a relationship other then friendship. It had been a long and hard journey for Yue with his new emotions. For him to actually admit that he cared for her brother in such a way meant that he was finally accepting his emotions. And Kero was very happy and hoped for the best.

Sakura grinned at her sun guardian and had a feeling that everything would turn out okay with them. She was absolutely sure of it.

**

Misunderstanding

Yukito gazed up at the moon and let out a soft sigh. The past few weeks had been pure emotional agony for him and he was not to sure how to handle it. It had all started with Yue and his confession to Touya and admitting how they felt about him. The other boy had not rejected their feelings but so far wasn’t so sure what he felt for them still. It was sweet torture being near Touya and not being able to touch or even kiss him without fear of driving him away. 

(Patience Yukito, I know it’s hard to wait but we have to give him time.)

Closing his eyes, Yukito felt the moon fill him with its serene and cold energy. 

(I know Yue I just don’t know how to handle theses new emotions to well or what to do about them.)

Yue grew quiet for a moment and Yukito could tell that he was thinking it over. He knew that his other half was just as confused as he was by theses new set of emotions. 

(I guess for now we will have to just deal with it one day at a time or maybe we could talk to Mr. Kinomoto? He might have some good advice about theses emotions and also how to handle Touya.)

It did seem like a good idea since Touya’s father had received the other half of Clow’s power and now knew about the guardians and Sakura cards now. 

(Alright Yue I will think about.)

*

Yukito let out a half yawn as he sat in class and rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping to well and trying to pay attention in English class was hard. Usually he was really interested in learning about new things but not today. 

(Maybe we shouldn’t have stayed up so late thinking last night?)

(No it’s ok. I’ll be able to survive in class and it’s only a few more hours anyway.)

He heard Yue sigh at him and then grow quiet. Glancing over at the clock he really wished that it was time for lunch so that he could see Touya and maybe take a nap. This was one of his classes that he did not have the other boy in and he missed him. Oh well just another hour and then he would see him.

*

Touya patiently waited for Yukito to arrive under their usual tree and let out a sigh. He still hadn’t figured out his feelings towards the other boy and it was driving him nuts. But he knew for a fact that he felt something for him especially since their first kiss. Raising his hand to his lips he smiled softly and thought it over. The kiss had been more of a peck of reassurance then one of passion. He had done it in order to comfort Yue and Yukito and yet maybe just to feel what it was like. Yue’s lips had been warm and moist. Blushing furiously he laughed softly at his mushy thoughts.

“Hey Touya!”

Looking up he noticed another boy rushing towards him and smiled. It was one of his classmates Ryu and he wondered what the other boy wanted. 

“What is it Ryu?”

He watched the other boy smile at him and was shocked when he felt the boy arms around his neck.

“Ryu what umph….”

Touya’s eyes widened in surprise, when he felt a tongue enter his mouth. Hearing a gasp Touya thrust the other boy away and whirled around. Yukito stood a few feet away and looked about to cry. 

“Yukito wait I…”

Silver eyes flashed in Hazel before the white haired boy turned around and ran away. About to follow him, Touya felt the other boy grab his arm. Snarling in anger he glanced back at Ryu. 

“Let me go.”

Ryu was smirking at him and he wanted to deck the other boy.

“No Touya I don’t think I will.”

“What?”

“I want you Touya.”

Touya jerked his arm free from the other boy and looked at him with contempt. 

“Well I sure as hell don’t want you and I never would.”

He watched the other boy eyes widened at the rejection and turning around raced after Yukito. 

*

Yukito ran through the trees and finally made it outside the school gates. He knew that he should have probably grabbed his things but he didn’t want anyone to see him. Sobbing uncontrollably he continued to run until he finally reached his house. Closing the door behind him, he fell against it and slid to the floor. He could feel Yue’s pain as well and it made him cry harder. He was terribly confused at seeing Touya kiss that boy and it made his heart ache. He wondered if Touya had actually liked the other boy? If he did then why did he lie and say that he might like him and Yue as well? 

Standing up he was about to take a few steps away when there was a knock at the door.

“Yukito open the door please.”

Hearing Touya’s voice Yukito closed his eyes and hunched over. Even hearing his voice right now was causing him pain and he just wanted to escape.

(Yukito let me handle this please?)

Opening pain filled hazel eyes he nodded slowly and felt the change take place.

Yue opened his wings and turned towards the door. He could hear Yukito sobbing and let out a sigh. His heart was aching as well and he wondered if Touya had really betrayed them. Squaring his shoulders he walked over to the door and opened it. Touya stood on the other side and was panting slightly. 

“What do you want Touya?”

He watched as the other boy straighted up and glance at him.

“I need to talk to Yukito about what he saw.”

Stepping back Yue motioned for him to enter the house and the other boy did. Closing the door he walked into the living room and turned around.

“I am afraid that you will have to talk to me for now because Yukito doesn’t want to see you.”

“What he saw wasn’t true.”

Yue cocked his head to the side and crossed his arms over his chest. He felt Yukito’s pain and that made him angry. Narrowing silver eyes he glared at the other boy. 

“Then why were you kissing the other boy then Touya? Why did it take you so long the push him away!”

“Because he took me by surprise and I was shocked okay?”

Yue blinked in surprise at the anguish in the other boy’s voice. He watched as Touya thrust a hand into his hair and grip it slightly.

“I didn’t know that he was going to try and kiss me. I wasn’t sure how to react or what to do.”

Yue could feel Yukito sobs slowed to a halt and he knew that he was listening as well. They both watched as the other boy turned his back to them and his shoulders slumped slightly.

“And by the time I did it was already to late because Yukito saw us.”

(I jumped to conclusion didn’t I Yue?)

(I think we both did.)

Walking over to the other boy Yue hesitantly put a hand on Touya’s shoulder. Turning him around he was surprised to see tears and pain in his chocolate brown eyes. He had never seen Touya cry before and it made him feel awful. Reaching up he carefully wiped the tears away and cupped his cheek.

“We are both sorry as well Touya. Sorry for jumping to conclusion and not finding out what really happened first. “

Threading fingers into dark brown hair, Yue pulled Touya closer and kissed him. It was a soft kiss and he felt the other boy respond slowly. Warm arms encircled his waist before he was pulled closer. Breaking the kiss he took a few steps back before smiling at the other in reassurance. Closing his eyes and wings he let Yukito take over.

*

Touya watched as the magic faded and Yukito stood before him. He was glad that Yukito and Yue had forgiven him and if they hadn’t then Ryu might have gotten hurt. The other boy was regarding him sadly and had a guilty expression.

“I am so sorry Touya I…”

Walking forward he gently laid a hand on the other’s lips and looked into startled hazel.

“No more apologizes Yuki and I promise that it will never happen again alright.”

He watched as Yukito face showed surprise before smiling warmly at him.

“You called me Yuki instead of Yukito, Touya. Is that a new nick name for me?”

Laughing softly Touya pulled him against him and kissed his soft hair.

“Yes it is.”

“Good.”

They still had a lot of unresolved emotions and issue to work out but for now holding each other was enough.

**

Problems with the Heart

Touya flopped down on the grass and stretched out his entire body. The past few weeks had been very interesting and emotionally exhausting. For one that jerk Ryu had started to stalk him and didn’t seem to get the hint that he did not want him. The boy was starting to become a pain and he was going to have to figure out what to do about it. But his biggest problem was his relationship with his best friend and were it was headed. He wasn’t to sure if he wanted to get into another dating relationship especially since the last one had gotten him hurt badly. Even though he did know that Kaho had not meant for that to happen but still it did make one wary of relationships. Feeling a hand drop on his shoulder he started and glanced up into warm hazel.

“What are you thinking so hard about Touya?”

Reaching up he cupped the other’s cheek and watched as he leaned into the caress.

“Just some issues I need to resolve Yuki.”

Seeing the puzzled look on the other’s face, Touya decided to change the subject. He wasn’t ready to discuss this with the other yet and would when he had figured it out.

“So Yuki how was your day?”

*

Yukito glared at his math book and threw down his pencil in a huff. He couldn’t figure out the simple math problem and it was driving him nuts. Usually he could figure out those problems easily but he couldn’t seem to concentrate.

(That’s not why your upset and you know it.)

Closing the math book he childishly shoved it off the bed and heard it slam on the floor.

(Of course that’s not why I am upset Yue. Its just what is up with Touya lately?)

Ever since the incident with Ryu and their fight, which luckily had been resolved, Touya had become distracted. Something seemed to be weighing heavily on his mind and Yukito wished he would tell him. The other boy would seem to drifting off into his own world when he was alone or thought he was. 

(Give him time Yukito. Whatever it is I am sure he will tell us when he is ready.)

He knew that Yue was right but still it was so hard not to ask. Touya was one of those types of people who would tell you what he was thinking in his own time. The other boy was a very private person and did not express himself often. Yukito was still surprised that the he had befriended him since he had a rep of being a loner but was still popular.

(Alright Yue I will try and be patient, but I don’t know how much longer I can be.)

(All good things come to those who are patient or so Clow told me. Not that Kero was ever good at waiting but I was.)

Yukito let out a quiet chuckle at that and could imagine Kero complaining loudly about whatever while looked all haunty.

(Hey I was more regal then haunty. And it was a good way to make Kero mad.)

Yukito let out a laugh and felt a little better. He grabbed the abused math book off the floor and decided to try working on that problem again.

*  
Touya let out a half yawn and stepped out of the restaurant. It had been a long day at work and he couldn’t wait to get home. He rubbed his shoulder tiredly and nearly jumped when a hand touched his. Whirling around he cursed softly and glared.

“What the hell are you doing here Ryu?”

The other boy just smirked at him and winked.

“Why to ask you out on a date Touya.”

Rolling his eyes he wondered if fate was causing him all of theses problems lately, starting with this person.

“I am not interested Ryu and never will be. How many times do I have to tell you this?”

He watched as the other boy blinked at the rejection before he smiled again. Touya couldn’t figure out why the idiot didn’t understand the word no and it was getting tiresome. How was he supposed to figure out his relationship with Yukito and Yue if this jerk kept bugging him?

“Probably a thousand times because I will never give up Touya. I always get what I want and what I want is you.”

About ready to deck the other man he turned abruptly and walked towards his bike. Angrily unlocking it he quickly hopped on and sped away.

“You can run Touya but I will find you.”

Gritting his teeth in anger he began to imagine twenty ways of killing that boy.

*

Walking home after school that day Touya angrily grumbled under his breath. Ever since last night his luck had been going down hill and it was probably that jerk Ryu’s fault. For one he had woken up late for school this morning, his bike chain decided to break, and he had forgotten to study for a major test. And to make matters worse it was raining and he getting soaked. Slowing to a halt under the Cherry Tree, he leaned against it and closed his eyes. He still hadn’t resolved where he wanted to go in his relationship with Yukito and Yue. To be frankly honest he was terrified of getting hurt again the more he thought about it. Perhaps it was time to ask his father for advice on how he was feeling since he couldn’t figure out what else to do. Feeling a bit better he turned around and started to walk home again.

 

“Hey Touya wait up!”

Half turning around in irritation he let out a sigh when he noticed that it was only Yukito. The pest Ryu was nowhere in site and he grateful. He watched as his friend ran up to him and smiled. The other boy had on a bright blue raincoat and carried an umbrella. 

“Touya your soaked! Here get take my umbrella ok?”

Smiling down at the other in gratitude he reached over and pulled him into a hug. He heard Yukito let out a squeak and watched as the umbrella fell to the ground.

“I am sorry that I have been distant lately Yuki but give me a little more time ok?”

He could feel the other nod against his shoulder and let out a contented sigh. Tonight he would talk to his father and hopefully he could help him in this situation.

*

Walking into his father den that night Touya felt apprehensive and nervous. The last time he had a serious talk with his father it had been about his relationship with Kaho and look how bad that had turned out. 

“What is it Touya?”

“Dad I need to talk to you about something serious.”

He watched his father regard him thoughtfully before nodding at him.

“It’s about Yukito and his other half Yue and your feeling for them am I correct?”

Touya almost died in shock but then again his dad was good at finding out things. His dad had always been this way ever since he could remember and had gotten even better at it since he had gotten half of Clow’s power.

“Yes. I am afraid to get involved again and don’t know which way to go.”

“Is it because of Kaho and your past relationship?”

Nodding his head he watched, as his father grow quiet and thoughtful.

“The only thing I can tell you Touya is that you should trust your best-friend and trust yourself. Relationships are a tricky thing and sometimes we will get hurt in them or perhaps even find joy. But if you shut yourself away then you will be alone and never find that special someone to love.”

Mulling over his father words he let them sink in and smiled sadly.

“I understand dad but I just need to get my brain and heart to agree.”

His father stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Just take it one step at a time and I have a feeling you will know what you want when the time is right.”

“Thanks dad.”

*

Walking down the road Touya wondered why he didn’t bring a jacket with him again. He was soaking wet and he knew that he would probably catch a cold. Work had been long and busy. It was pretty late that night and he wondered if Yukito was a sleep. Eventually he knew that he would have to tell his friend about everything soon. His heart and head were still in turmoil but his talk with his father had helped. Slowing down he blinked in surprise when he noticed that he was in front of Yukito’s house. He must have been so lost in thought that he had automatically wandered over here. Glancing at the darkened windows he smiled before walking over to the porch. Sitting down Touya decided to rest a minute and watched the rainfall.

“This feels like déjà vu somehow.”

Jerking his head around Touya glanced up at saw Yue. He hadn’t even heard the other come outside or even walk towards him. But then again it could be because of magic and the other was floating off the ground.

“So what brings you over here at this time of night Touya? And why aren’t you wearing a jacket again? Are you trying to get sick or something?”

Touya almost laughed out loud at Yue’s remarks and how similar they were to his so long ago.

“No reason really I just wanted out of the rain for a bit.”

He almost jumped in surprise when the other sat behind him and enfolded him in a feathery cocoon. Warm arms encircled his shoulders and he was pulled back against Yue’s chest. Eyes opening wide in surprise he watched as the magic circle formed under there feet. Yue began to chant and soon warm air rushed around them. The next instance he was completely dry and watched as the circle fade away.

“Now your all dry and hopefully you won’t catch a cold.”

Touya decided not to point out that he would get wet again when he went home. It felt nice to be held in the other’s arms and he relaxed against him.

“Yue?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you and Yukito give me more time on were our relationship is heading? I need to figure out some of my past issues and settle them. I’ll understand if you two don’t want to wait and I know its selfish but....”

He was about to say more but Yue’s hand on his lips stopped him. Turning around he gazed up at the moon guardian and saw compassion.

“Touya we care about you very much and we will wait for you. Relationships are a tricky thing and should never be rushed. So take all the time you need and when your ready then tell us ok?”

Nodding his head Touya knew somehow that he would figure everything out soon and Yue words were what he needed to hear. Reaching up he threaded his hand into white hair and pulled Yue down for a soft kiss.

“Thank you. And I promise when I am ready then I will tell you both everything.”

Settling back against Yue again he intertwined their hands and they both continued to watch the rainfall.

 

**

Arising Complications

The past few weeks had been hectic and tiring for one Kinomoto Touya. First off he had exams all over the place and he still hadn’t had a chance to study for them. Then his job was busy as hell lately and he was feeling run down. Next was that guy Ryu seemed to be everywhere lately and wouldn’t take no for an answer. And finally there was still the issue about his relationship with his best-friend and moon guardian. Could he resolve his issues and be with the other or not. This was just causing him one big headache and didn’t think it could get any worse.

“Touya!”

Snapping his head up at the shout he looked around before spotting the caller. Long auburn hair blew in the breeze and he somehow knew that it had gotten a lot worse.

“Hello Kaho.”

Somehow in his odd musing he had arrived at the old Shrine and wondered if it might be instinctive. Whenever he was feeling extremely stressed or lonely he would come here. He wondered if it was because he felt the spirit of the old Cherry tree and it somehow soothed him. 

“When did you get back?”

Kaho was smiling at him but it seemed false somehow. In situations like theses he wished that he had his power and then he could read the other easier. Auras were so much easier to see when one had power but it had been given up for a good reason.

“Not that long ago. I decided to take a break from my studies in London and come back here to rest.”

Somehow he knew that she was lying and he wondered what was up. Why would she come back here alone and not bring Eriol? Feeling extremely suspicious he decided to find out.

“So where’s Eriol and his guardians at? I know that Sakura would be happy if they were back and the others too.”

He watched, as she seemed to flinch and grow pale. Bingo right on target.

“They are still in England and won’t be here for this trip.”

Looking at her skeptically he watched as she sighed, before giving him a resigned expression.

“I see that you are better at reading me now Touya then you were back then.”

Touya felt pained for a moment by her cool words and tried to ignore it. Perhaps if he had been good at reading her in the past then maybe he wouldn’t have gotten hurt. He watched as a bitter smile appeared on her face before she spoke again. 

“I have decided to leave Eriol for the time being since we were having problems.”

Unsure of what to say he was astonished when she walked up to him and slipped her arms around his neck. But what surprised him more was when she kissed him and then drew back. Smiling sadly at him for a moment she turned around and walked away. Watching her go into the temple he wondered why she had done that. It was obvious when he saw Eriol and Kaho that the two were in love but what could have made her leave? But what startled him more was the kiss and that he had perhaps liked it. He felt like he had betrayed the other ones who loved him and guilty as well. With a heavy heart he turned around and headed home.

*

Sitting at the dinner table a few nights later, with Yukito, Kero, and Sakura, Touya idly wondered what to do about Kaho and the kiss. He hadn’t had the guts to tell his friend nor did he want to hurt him. No matter which way he turned it in his mind, he somehow knew that he need to resolve it. Picking at his food he didn’t notice that the other man was watching him. 

Yukito had noticed that his friend had been acting weird of late and he didn’t know what had caused it. So far he hadn’t had the guts to ask him what was wrong but it seemed that he should soon. 

“I saw Ms. Mizuki today and she might be substituting at my school again.”

Yukito watched as Touya jerked a moment before glancing at his sister. He wondered what was up with the other man and why he felt a vague sense of fear. 

“I ran across her a few nights ago but she didn’t mention that.”

“What! And you didn’t tell me!”

“Sorry Sakura.”

He was shocked that Touya hadn’t told him before that his ex was back in town. Apart of him was feeling hurt and he tried to ignore it. Gazing at Touya he noticed that the other was avoiding eye contact and he grew suspicious. The other man was hiding something and he didn’t like it.

(Perhaps we should as him about this after dinner?)

(Do you think he is hiding something Yue?)

The moon guardian seemed to be thinking it over and Yukito waited patiently. His other half was a better at thinking logically and he was better at emotions.

(Yes and its better to ask him outright then speculate about it. Do you want me to do it?)

(Yes I would be too emotional. But I will ask to speak to him after dinner ok?)

(Alright.)

**

Yukito stood beside his best friend and helped him with the dishes. Sakura had already gone up stairs with Kero and they were all alone. This was the perfect time to talk to him and lay his suspicions to rest.

“Touya, Yue wants to talk to you outside after we are done.”

He watched the other look at him for a moment before nodding. There had been a flash of guilt in his brown eyes before he had turned back to the dishes. Somehow that sense of fear was growing stronger.

The finally finished drying the last dish and turning around stepped out into the garden. Letting out a sigh Yukito looked up at the sky and could not see the moon.

(It’s a new moon tonight and the full moon won’t be out for another few days. Are you ready?)

Nodding his head he closed his eyes and felt the change take over. White wings opened and Yue gracefully floated to the ground. He regarded Touya quietly for a moment before walking over to him. Looking into the dark brown eyes he saw turmoil and something else. Reaching up he cupped the other man cheek and smiled sadly.

“What are you hiding from us Touya?”

He watched as the other closed pain filled eyes and then looked away. Yue could sense the pain coming from the other and wondered what he could do.

“Please Touya I only want to help you.”

The other man let out a cold and bitter laugh. Yue didn’t even flinch when the other glared at him with pain filled eyes.

“Do you really want to know Yue?”

Feeling a horrible forbidding he nodded his head and waited.

“Kaho kissed me the other night and I liked it. I don’t know why or even how I could. I mean the woman broke my heart and then left me. Gods what is wrong with me.”

Yue was shell-shocked and so was Yukito. The moon guardian felt agony rip through his soul and almost moaned in pain. 

“Do you want to be with her?”

Touya closed his eyes and thought about that. He wasn’t to sure what he wanted and it was causing him problems. Opening his eyes again he gazed down at the bent white head and let out a sigh. Pulling the other into his arms he felt Yue stiffen before relaxing against him. Resting his head against the silky hair he pulled the other closer.

“I am sorry Yue, I didn’t mean to keep this from you or lie. I just wanted time to figure it out and then explain it to you. The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you two.”

“And have you figured it out?”

Letting out a sigh he stepped back slightly and gazed down into silver eyes. There was still trust there and love. Sometimes when he saw that in either hazel or silver he felt so guilty. A part of him felt unworthy of their love and he wondered if he ever would feel worthy. 

“No but I promise when I do then you will be the first to know. And no more secrets from me ok?”

Yue nodded in agreement before pulling him close again.

“No more secrets or else you will be in trouble Touya.”

Closing his sudden tear filled eyes he hoped that he could keep that promise and resolve this issue. 

**

(It hurts Yue. Do you think we did the right thing?)

(I don’t know Yukito)

The moon guardian clutched his knees tighter to his chest and gazed at the stars. He had left the Kinomoto’s an hour ago and decided to fly home instead. Touya had been so relieved that he had been understanding and supportive. But the sad part was he was terrified and afraid of losing the other. At long last he had found someone to love again and he might be snatched away. He wasn’t to sure if he could survive that kind of pain again and neither would Yukito.

(I hope that Touya figures this out soon because I don’t know if I could deal with it. Having to watch him and Kaho together would be too painful.)

Nodding his head in agreement he closed his eyes and closed his wings. All he had was hope that Touya would figure it out and maybe choose Yukito and himself. But hope right now was an empty comfort.

(The scary thing about it all Yue is he never answered your question.)

Yue’s head snapped up and he sighed in irritation. He had been so distraught by everything that it had slipped his mind.

(I can’t believe I forgot to get an answer for that questions Yukito.)

He felt his other half’s reassurance and warm support. 

(The sad thing is I don’t think he know himself Yue and that what makes it worse.)

Gazing up at the stars again they both prayed that everything would be alright somehow.

 

**

Unresolved Issues

The past few weeks were starting to take a toll on Touya and he was exhausted. He hadn’t been able to sleep much because of his confused emotions. It didn’t help that Kaho had become Sakura’s substitute teacher again and that was all his sister talked about. Or the fact that he was unsure how he felt about Kaho now and what to do about it. And he still had problems with his stalker Ryo and unresolved issues with Yukito and Yue. If he didn’t figure out what to do soon then he knew for a fact that he would go crazy. 

“Touya?”

Opening up exhausted eyes he lifted his head and saw his father standing in the doorway. 

“Yes dad?”

“Do you need to talk?”

He could hear the worried tone in his father’s voice and felt guilty. A part of him wanted to ask for his fathers help but he knew that this was something he had to resolve on his own.

“No not right now but thanks.”

Touya watched as his dad nodded his head and left the room. Laying back down he gazed up at the ceiling again and wondered what he was going to do.

*

It was another warm day outside of the shrine and the old tree was in full bloom. Sakura blossoms floated by and it smelled sweet. Touya had come to the tree to think like he did when he was young but that wasn’t the only reason. He needed to see Kaho again and find out if he did have feelings left for the woman. So far he did not have to the courage to find her yet and let out a sigh.

“Hello Touya.”

Closing his eyes he took a deep breath and then turned around. Kaho stood a few feet away and was gazing at him curiously. Her red hair floated in the breeze and her pale skin glowed softly. 

“Hello Kaho.”

“What brings you here?”

“I came here because I need to ask you something. May I kiss you?”

He was a bit embarrassed asking her this but he needed to know if he felt something for her. There last kiss had awoken something inside of him and he need to know what. He could tell she was not shocked by his question and he wondered about that. 

“Its because of our last kiss is it not?”

Touya nodded slowly and he watched as she smiled.

“Very well then you can.”

Walking up to her, Touya wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer. Kaho slid her arms around his neck and waited. His skin tingled slightly from her touch and he gazed down into her green eyes. Taking a deep breath and hoping this was the right thing to do, he leaned down and kissed her on the lips.

*

Yukito let out a tired yawn as he walked towards home. His job had been a bit stressful today and he was drained. The last few weeks hadn’t been going so well and it was all thanks to Touya. He wondered if the other man was ever going to figure out his feelings and finally settle things once and for all. 

(Don’t worry Yuki, I am sure that everything will work out fine.)

(I hope you are right Yue because all this waiting and hoping is killing me.)

“Yukito?”  
Letting out a startled yelp he whirled around and smiled in delight.

“Eriol! When did you get back in Japan?”

The blue haired boy smiled at him charmingly and winked.

“Just a few hours ago and I was just coming by to visit Kaho.”

Yukito could hear the love in Eriol’s voice and smiled. He wondered if the other boy had come to talk to Kaho and hopefully take her back to England. Yukito did like the woman, but not when it was interfering with Touya and causing them problems.

“Would you like to walk with me there and catch up on old times Yukito?”

Nodding his head in agreement the two of them walked towards the temple. Eriol informed him that his two guardians had come as well but were staying back at the hotel. He had wanted to see Kaho alone and had told the other two to come later. Somehow he knew that Touya would not be pleased to know that Naruku was back in town and could hear Yue chuckle in amusement.

(Oh he will be pissed off indeed.)

(She wasn’t so bad, well most of the time.)

The laughing moon guardian had Yukito smiling as well and he just shook his head. About to ask Eriol another question, he mounted the last step to the temple and froze in shock. There before him stood Kaho and Touya. The two were holding each other and appeared to be kissing quiet passionately. Pain rippled through him and he fell to his knees.

“Kaho?”

He could hear the pain in Eriol’s voice and watched the two jump apart. If only this were a dream and he could wake up but alas it was turning into a nightmare. Jumping to his feet he turned around and ran. He could hear someone yelling his name but didn’t care. All he wanted to do was run away and hide from the world. Closing his eyes he begged Yue to take over and felt the change take place.

Yue opened pained filled eyes and launched himself into the air. He could hear Yukito sobbing through their link and felt his heart break. How could Touya do this and not even tell them? He remembered that the other man said there would be no more secrets but then this happened. Everything felt like it was falling apart and there was nothing he could do about it. Letting out a pain filled moan, Yue wondered if they would be able to survive this betrayal.

*

Touya frantically ran after the moon guardian and yelled his name. He could tell that he had wounded Yukito and Yue. There had been such heartache and sadness in those eyes, and it was all his fault. If only he had told them what he had planned on doing and not find out this way. Slowing to a halt he lowered his head and cursed in frustration.

“Touya I am sorry.”

Turning around he smiled bitterly at Kaho.

“Sorry about what?”

He could see the sadness in her eyes and glanced past her at Eriol. The boy was watching her and he could see how hurt he was.

“For dragging you into this situation and even agreeing to kiss you.”

“No it my fault and I do not blame you.”

“Have you found the answer to your question?”

Closing his eyes he nodded his head and smiled at her sadly.

“Yes I have but at what cost?”

Kaho walked over to him and gave him a hug. He hesitantly returned it and rested his head on her shoulder.

“That is for you to decide, now go after them.”

Nodding his head, he turned around and raced after the moon guardian. He wondered what was going to happen to Kaho and Eriol now, but that was for them to decided. Right now he needed to find his friend and have a very long talk.

*

When You Lose Hope

The moon glowed high in the sky and he could tell it was very late. He had searched for hours but was no closer to finding the Moon Guardian. Frustration was starting to set in and fear as well. Touya was unsure if Yue would even listen to his explanation about kissing Kaho or why he had even done it. One thing was certain though was that he had to find his friend and set things right.

*

Pure white light surrounded the sobbing being that floated over the lake. Long white wings curved protectively over the body and pale hands covered his face. Teardrops fell and ripples occurred in the water. 

All Yue could think about was Touya kissing Kaho and that he had lied to him. He had thought that the other boy only needed time before finally deciding what he wanted. And it look like he had finally picked his choice and Yue had lost. It hurt so much that he had picked her over him but what hurt more was he had lied. There friendship had always been built on mutual trust and a strong bond. It seemed that it had all been a lie on Touya’s part and it was devastating to the Guardian. He could faintly hear Yukito crying but he couldn’t comfort him. How could he when it felt like a part of him was falling apart as well?

*

Exhaustion was setting in and he stopped near a bench. He knew that he should stop and rest but couldn’t. Touya still had not found Yue and he wondered if he ever would. He had looked in all of Yukito’s and Yue’s favorite places but hadn’t found them. Stumbling slightly he fell to one knee and panted. A part of him wondered how in the heck had his life gotten so complicated. Suddenly warm muscular arms encircled his waist and pulled him against a firm chest.

“Hello Touya remember me.”  
Stiffening in anger, he turned his head around and glared at the boy.

“Get your hands off me Ryu.”

“No way Touya. I told you I would have you didn’t I?”

He jerked himself free of the other boy and stumbled away from him. Whirling around he glared at Ryu and crossed his arms. The other boy was regarding him like some kind of prize and it made him uneasy. 

“What makes you think that I would want someone like you?”

“I could care less what you want Touya, all that matters is what I want.”

“What?”

First Yue’s disappearance and now this had to happen. His life was not going to well today and it kept getting worse. The other boy was truly pissing him off and he wondered if he could kill him right now. 

“You will be mine Touya. Mind, body, and soul.”

The gleam in Ryu’s eyes was slowly growing and had a slight mad look to it. Something was seriously off about the other boy and he couldn’t figure out what it was. Regarding the boy for a moment the answer hit him all at once.

“Have you been doing drugs?”

“And what if I have?”

Assessing the whole situation Touya knew he needed to get away from the other boy. He was unsure how unstable Ryu would be or if he would even get violent.

“Whatever Ryu, look I am leaving now and I suggest you go home and cool off.”

Turning around he was about to leave when Ryu ran right at him. Jumping to the side he quickly tripped the other boy and backed away. Ryu fell with a dull thud but quickly jumped to his feet. The mad gleam in his eyes darkened to something eerie and Touya knew he was in a heap of trouble.

“Naughty Touya you will have to pay for that.”

*

The air rushed through his wings as Kero and Sakura flew through the night sky. He could tell that she was extremely worried about her brother but wouldn’t say so. Her brother had not returned home that night at all and hadn’t even called. She knew that something was wrong and had tried calling Yukito’s. The other boy had not answered and that had made her worry more. 

“Perhaps they are together Sakura?”

“I hope so Kero because something just doesn’t feel right. Are we getting any closer to Yue or Yukito yet?”

Kero could tell that his mistress didn’t want to talk about it anymore and decided to leave it for now. Closing his eyes he opened up his magical senses and searched for his brother. There was a faint spark in the distance and he could sense grief. He wondered about that and decided to ask his brother about it later.

“Not much farther Sakura, he is just pass this park.”

“Alright Kero.”

Hopefully her brother was with Yue but deep down something told Sakura he wasn’t. 

*

Yue let out a tired sigh and lay down beside the lake. He could tell by the waning moon that the sun would be up in another few hours. The air was growing colder and he shivered a little.

[What are we going to do now Yue?]

[I don’t know Yukito.]

He wasn’t to surprise, that his other half decided to start talking at last. For the last hour Yukito had stopped crying and so had he. All he felt was emptiness inside and perhaps that was for the best. His heart felt broken and he was unsure if he would ever be able to fix it. Perhaps it would have been better to never feel or know what love was again.

[No Yue, I am glad that we met and fell in love with Touya.]

He blinked in surprise at the honest and yet saddened words.

[Why Yukito?]

[Before I ever met Touya I was always alone and never had any friends. But when I met him, he accepted me for who I was and even into his family. I will always treasure the friendship we had and even the love I feel for him now. The only regret I will have is that our friendship is over and that we almost had a relationship.]

He silently agreed with him but before he could reply there was a loud commotion from above.

“Yue!”

“Sakura? Kero? What are you two doing here?”

They landed before him and Sakura gazed up at Yue worriedly.

“We were searching for you and Touya! Have you seen him?”

“Not since earlier this day why?”

Yue watched as Sakura and Kero glanced at each other. A sense of forbidding filled him and he grew alarmed.

“Why do you ask this Sakura? What’s wrong?”

“I have a feeling that my brother is in trouble.”

Those words sparked a fear in Yue and closing his eyes he hoped it was not true.

*

Blood splattered the ground as the two boys continued to fight. Shoving Ryu off of him, Touya took a step back and tossed sweat drenched hair. The other boy would not let him leave and had resorted to violence to stop him. 

“Lets walk away from this Ryu and forget the whole thing.”

“No I told you, that you are mine and you won’t leave me.”

Touya knew that the drugs were wreaking havoc with Ryu’s mind and he couldn’t reason with him. His right arm ached horribly and he wondered if he had wrenched it. Blood dripped down from his cut lip and one of his eyes was starting to swell shut. Ryu didn’t look much better with his broken bloody nose and he was limping slightly. He had to admit that the other boy was a great fighter and normally he would admire that in another but not now. All he wanted to do was find Yue, explain the whole situation, and hopefully resolve this mess. Instead he was stuck fighting his stalker jerk and getting injured as well. Tonight just wasn’t his night and he had a feeling it might get worse. 

Ryu smiled crazily at him and before Touya knew it he was on the ground. Everything was whirling around hazily and he wondered what had happened. 

“I have you now Touya mine.”

Blinking dazedly up at Ryu, Touya struggled angrily but couldn’t get free. 

“Let me go you jerk!”

The other boy laughed at him and he struggled harder.

“I don’t think so Touya mine. Now that I have you, I’ll never let you go.”

“Let him go now or suffer the consequences.”

The voice was colder then ice and the two combatants stopped. Glancing over to the right they saw three figures land on the ground. Ryu loosened his grip in shock and Touya used it to his advantage. Jerking his arms free he used them and his legs to fling the other boy off. He heard the satisfying thump, before staggering to his feet. Turning around he smiled down at Sakura and then gazed at Yue. The Moon Guardian was glaring past him at Ryu but then suddenly looked at him. He could see the rage and pain shining in those silver eyes.

“What is going on Touya?”

*

They had been searching for Touya for hours and it had been luck that they had finally found him. It was shocking to them to see him fighting but even more for Yue. He had never seen the other boy injured so badly or looking so tired. And in that moment he knew that he would do everything in his power to protect the other from harm. He watched as Kero walked over to the other boy and sniff him. 

“I was trying to find you Yue, but I ran across my would be stalker instead. Ryu has been bothering me for months and I never thought he would go this far.”

Yue felt anger fill him and wanted to kill that Ryu boy. A warning glance from Kero soon cooled that urge but didn’t stop the dark thoughts. Sakura glanced across to Ryu and then looked at the others.

“What should we do with him?”

“I don’t really care, I just want to go home.”

There was exhaustion in Touya’s voice and he was barely standing. Glancing at Sakura and Kero, he nodded towards Touya.

“Okay brother we will take you home then.”

Touya nodded but then glanced over at Ryu.

“What about him?”

Everyone was quiet for a moment before Yue stepped forward.

“I will take care of him.”

He glared at the other three and know one protested. Silver met brown eyes and Touya glanced away first. Yue watched as Touya and Sakura climbed onto Kero’s back. After waiting until they were airborne and long gone he turned back to the other boy. Smiling grimly he wondered what he was going to do with him.

*

Renewing Trusts

The room was dark and felt slightly cool. Turning over onto his side Touya moaned and shifted again. His whole body hurt from his fight earlier and not even the soft bed helped. It had been four hours ago since Kero and Sakura had brought him home. His sister and the stuffed animal had patched him together, drugged him, and sent him to bed. It had felt nice to be comforted by someone but the person he wanted the most had not come. He wondered what Yue was going to do to Ryu and hoped it was not something pleasant. Getting out of bed, he stood up and took a few cautious steps forward. 

“Should you even be out of bed Touya? I don’t think the mistress will be to happy about that and neither will my brother.”

Whirling around, he would have fallen if not for the warm arms that caught him. Leaning into the embrace he let out a tired sigh before gazing up. Cold silver eyes regarded him thoughtfully and he knew that he still had to resolve some issues. Squaring his shoulders, Touya took a few steps back and was relieved that he didn’t still feel faint.

“I know that Yue but I don’t need them to go the bathroom.”

The Moon Guardian cocked an eyebrow at that but didn’t say anything. Closing his eyes for a moment, Touya took a deep breath and decided to say what needed to be said.

“Look Yue about Kaho and that kiss….”

“No Touya I don’t want to hear it.”

“But.”

“No! Leave it be Touya.”

They both glared at each other for a minute and then glanced away. 

Yue closed his eyes and wrapped his arms more tightly around him. A part of him did want to hear what the other had to say but the other side didn’t. What if Touya told him to his face that he liked Kaho more and not him? Or possible that he liked women only and not men? Too many situations were running around in his head and it was so hard to think. 

Touya glanced up off the floor and gazed across at the guardian. He could tell something was bothering the other by the way he held himself. Narrowing his eyes in determination, he stalked across the room and grabbed Yue by the shoulders. Silver eyes opened in shock and then glared back at him in anger.

“Let me go Touya!”

“Not until you hear my side of the story first!”

The two of them began to struggle and then loosing there balance fell over. Touya let out a low moan as his back and head slammed into the ground. It felt like everything in his body was exploding in pain and it hurt to move. He could feel Yue land across his hurt ribs and tried to stifle a shriek of agony. Opening one brown eye he looked down at the angel and tentatively encircled him in his arms. He didn’t want the other trying to escape and this was a sure way to keep him there.

Yue felt all the air rush out of him as he fell across the other boy. He felt Touya’s in drawn breath and knew that he hurt himself in the fall. Feeling arms encircle him, he growled angrily and tried to rise. The arms around him tightened and he couldn’t get up.

“Touya, let go.”

“No. Please Yue let me explain and then afterwards I will let you go ok?”

Thinking it over, Yue knew that Touya wouldn’t let him go free until he said his piece. The only problem was that he didn’t know if he wanted to hear it.

[I think we should let him explain Yue and perhaps then we will at least know why he did it.]

Sighing softly he knew that Yukito was right and that it was better to know why then to guess for eternity.

“Alright Touya I will hear what you have to say.”

Closing his eyes in relief he let out a sigh and was thankful. Touya released Yue and the two sat up. Gazing at the wall, Touya took a calming breath and collected his thoughts.

“To start with at one time I did love her but that soon fell apart after she left me. For a time I didn’t think I could ever feel that way again and then that started to change when I first met you.”

Yue’s eyes widened and he blinked in surprise. He hadn’t been excepting that confession and something inside of him became warm.

“As more time went on I knew that you made me feel something and I still needed to resolve a whole lot of past issues. I didn’t want to get involved with you until I had settled all that and could give myself to you whole heartedly.”

Touya glanced over and noticed that the guardian’s attention was focused on him. It was hard to admit all this since he was a private person but if he wanted Yue and Yukito to understand then he needed to do this. 

“And when Kaho appeared and kissed me, I was more confused then ever. I mean I knew that I was starting to fall for you and to have her come along and do this through me for a loop. It took me a while to come to a decision and then I decided to act on it. And that is the reason I kissed her once more was to just be sure if there was anything left between us.”

“And is there Touya?”

The two locked eyes for a moment and then Touya smiled. It was the gentlest and warmest smile the other had ever given the moon guardian. 

“No Yue, I don’t feel anything for her any longer and I never will.”

Yue blinked in surprise and stood up. It was just too much information to deal with right now and he still needed to figure it out. He watched as the other boy’s face fell and smiled sadly. Crouching down Yue grasped the other’s chin and raised his face. 

“But I do believe you Touya and thank you for telling me. For now I think that’s its best if we part, because I need to think things through.”

Touya sighed softly and nodded. He understood what the other was trying to say but it still hurt. Brown eyes widened in surprise when he felt cool lips brush his own. Yue stood up and walked over towards the window. Opening it he paused for a moment and gazed back at the other boy. Smiling in reassurance, he leaped out the window and flew home. Touya watched him go and could only hope that things would work out okay.

*

A crescent moon hung over head and the stars shone brilliantly. It was a beautiful night but the boy on the roof ignored it. For the past week he had been thinking and couldn’t come up with anything. His other half was barely any help and was just as confused.

[Do you think we did the right thing?]

[What do you mean?]

Yukito sighed softly and shifted positions.

[I mean we ran away from Touya and didn’t leave him any hope. By now he probably thinks we rejected him and haven’t forgiven him at all.]

[That is true, but can we really trust him again?]

The two fell silent and gazed back up at the moon. Clouds slowly rolled across the sky and lightening streaked overhead. It was going to rain soon and brought a sense of melancholy to them.

“Forgive him.”

Yukito started in surprise and sat up. Kero sat floated a few feet away and was regarding them thoughtfully. He could tell that they were surprised that their brother had snuck up on them. But then again they had been distracted and not paying attention.

“Hello Kero what are you doing here?”

The sun guardian ignored this and glared at them. “Stop beating around the bush and forgive the boy. It was a horrible mistake and he deeply regrets it, so why are you still dragging it out?”

Yukito heard Yue growl angrily and heard him ask to switch places. Nodding in reply, he smiled apologetically at Kero before vanishing in a white light. When it cleared, Yue glared angrily at his brother and snorted.

“Because I am afraid to trust him again Kero. Afraid to offer him my heart once more and have it broken a second time.”

“Yes but in the end do you really want to give him up at all? He is your best friend and someone you love deeply. Are you going to throw it all away because of one mistake that will never be repeated?” Kero all but snarled at him. 

Yue opened his mouth but then snapped it shut. He was angry that his brother was butting in and wished he would leave him alone. The words were ringing true and he didn’t want to hear it yet.

Kero sighed and gazed over at him sadly. If his next words didn’t get the other moving then nothing would.

“Do you know that he isn’t eating properly or sleeping right? That he believes you do not forgive him and he lost his chance with you?”

Silver eyes looked at Kero in surprise. “But I have forgiven him, I just need time to figure it all out and decide what to do.”

“Well you better figure it out soon or else Touya may waste away from heartbreak.”

Yue was worried about Touya and he didn’t want him to suffer at all. But he and Yukito hadn’t figured out what to do yet.

[But haven’t we Yue? The moment we heard that Touya was hurting was when we decided.]

Closing his eyes for a moment, the moon guardian thought it over and knew Yukito was right. 

“Let’s go Kero.”

Kero was surprised that his plan had worked and almost grinned in glee. He turned away and hid a smile. Sakura’s brother was really okay just a bit sore still from his fight with Ryu. He was just exaggerating a little in order to get his analyzing brother to think faster and it looked like it worked. Now hopefully the two of them would straighten things up between them and everything would be okay again.

*

Touya leaned against the cherry blossom tree and yawned tiredly. He hadn’t been able to sleep lately because he was worried about Yue and Yukito. Neither of them had come over in a long time and he was starting to lose hope. Closing his eyes, he felt a tear slide down his cheek and another soon joined it. 

“Are you alright?”

He opened his eyes and gazed at Yue. It was shocking to see the one he loved standing there looking at him and he wondered if it was a dream. The moon guardian regarded him thoughtfully and took a few steps forward. Raising a hand, he gently whipped the tears away and cupped Touya’s cheek. 

“I forgive you.”

So many emotions flew through the brown eyes but the one that stood out the most was relief. Touya was overwhelmed by this and a few more tears slipped free. Gathering him into his arms, Yue held him close and felt him sag against him. They still had a lot of things to talk about but for now all Yue and Yukito wanted to do was hold on and never let go.

***


End file.
